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Oh, to be a Celebrity Mum

July 8th 2008 03:17
For we mere mortals having a baby is not a glamorous affair. Pregnancy is generally uncomfortable, round and bloaty, the actual birth is painful and far from dignified, and fashion/grooming is of low (or no) concern at any stage, particularly post-birth when you’re focused on feeding a screaming little person every three hours.

Not so for the barrage of celebrities currently or recently with child.

Little Sunday Rose Kidman Urban’s birth announcement today was accompanied by pictures of Nicole looking large yet stunning in a beige “maternity frock”. The gossip mags are bursting with photos of Angelina, Gwen, Halle et. al. looking massive yet elegantly dressed and groomed. We’re in the middle of a celebrity baby boom, and they’re all doing it in style!


Being a celebrity mum has its downside I’m sure. Just ask Britney Spears. I’d hate to have my parenting skills analysed by a judgemental public. And who wants photos of their wobbly post-baby butt plastered everywhere for public ridicule?

Papparazzi and gossip mags aside though, these chicks have got it pretty good.

Obviously the lucrative offers of cold hard cash for “exclusive” pics would be a great supplement to the current baby bonus. Bec & Lleyton just scored $100k for simply announcing that a second sprog is on the way and photos of A-list celeb babies can earn millions.

While the rest of us are “saving for the baby” and waddling around in trackies and ugg boots, celebs can splash the cash on hairdressers, non-polar fleece clothing and “preparing for the birth” with massages, therapists and relaxation. No wonder they all look so good.

Once they get to the hospital, these ladies aren’t sharing wards or forcing down mass-produced chicken broth and fruit custard for dinner. Angelina apparently had a private chef installed in the Namibian private hospital wing she’d condoned off for Shiloh’s birth, and I’ll bet she won’t be wanting for anything while delivering her next additions. Heck, she’ll probably wear a designer hospital gown and have her lipstick touched up mid-contraction!


Then there’s the whole post-baby body issue. Who hasn’t felt like the back end of a bus days and weeks after birth? I still wince when I see first photos of Isaac, me and my many chins. Had I access to celebrity nannies, housekeepers, personal trainers and gourmet chefs there’s no doubt the 5kg I’ve been hanging onto for the last two years would be banished via cross training and fat-free egg white omelettes.

Yep, give me the celebrity life any day. I’m sure I’d feature in every “Stars without Makeup” special and would draw endless criticism from the tabloid press, but it would be worth it just for the housekeeper and gourmet chef!!

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