Schlumpadink Shame
June 17th 2008 05:03
The other day as I plonked on the couch to eat my lunch I flicked on the TV to find Oprah - immaculately dressed and made up - illustrating the concept of the "schlumpadink".
I watched as a bunch of stay-at-home mums pleaded with Oprah to help them ease this terrible affliction. What is a schlumpadink? Apparently you qualify as a schlumpadink by slobbing around the house in a tracksuit, slippers and no make-up, not bothering to change if you need to leave the house to duck to the shops.
One of the girls on the show was tearfully admitting she had worn the same tracksuit pants three days in a row, and that most of her wardrobe was made up of elastic waisted pants. Oh the shame!!!
I had a little giggle, then looked down at myself. I was wearing navy tracksuit pants, smeared with my son's yoghurt hand prints, grotty old trainers, definitely no makeup and I'm not sure if I'd combed my hair that morning or not. And I'd just gotten back from the supermarket. Oh my GOD!! I am a schlumpadink!!
I'm certainly not one to care much about appearances, but I could identify with the idea that if you feel like a slob, you're more likely to slob around the house. So I decided to take Oprah's advice, which was to make a bit of an effort once in a while.
The next day I did exactly that. I even blow dried my hair. And you know what? I did feel pretty good. Not as good as the chicks on Oprah who'd received makeovers and new wardrobes, but I felt a step up from my usual slobby self. I think I DID get more done that day too. Who knew being a schlumpadink was holding me back??
Anyway I must fly. I should change my shirt (which has vegemite on it) and brush my hair before I collect Ike from daycare. Be sure to show the public the new improved me!
From now on my true shlumpadink status will be my guilty secret...
I watched as a bunch of stay-at-home mums pleaded with Oprah to help them ease this terrible affliction. What is a schlumpadink? Apparently you qualify as a schlumpadink by slobbing around the house in a tracksuit, slippers and no make-up, not bothering to change if you need to leave the house to duck to the shops.
One of the girls on the show was tearfully admitting she had worn the same tracksuit pants three days in a row, and that most of her wardrobe was made up of elastic waisted pants. Oh the shame!!!
I had a little giggle, then looked down at myself. I was wearing navy tracksuit pants, smeared with my son's yoghurt hand prints, grotty old trainers, definitely no makeup and I'm not sure if I'd combed my hair that morning or not. And I'd just gotten back from the supermarket. Oh my GOD!! I am a schlumpadink!!
I'm certainly not one to care much about appearances, but I could identify with the idea that if you feel like a slob, you're more likely to slob around the house. So I decided to take Oprah's advice, which was to make a bit of an effort once in a while.
The next day I did exactly that. I even blow dried my hair. And you know what? I did feel pretty good. Not as good as the chicks on Oprah who'd received makeovers and new wardrobes, but I felt a step up from my usual slobby self. I think I DID get more done that day too. Who knew being a schlumpadink was holding me back??
Anyway I must fly. I should change my shirt (which has vegemite on it) and brush my hair before I collect Ike from daycare. Be sure to show the public the new improved me!
From now on my true shlumpadink status will be my guilty secret...
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