Share and Share Alike
May 12th 2010 13:00
A friend of mine had a Facebook status post today that read something like “I wish I wasn't the one expected to do all the cooking”. I had to kind of laugh at that, as it's kind of how I've been feeling lately. A lot of people would probably find it weird for a guy to be saying that, but as my wife is pretty constantly under the strain of pregnancy nausea currently, most of the household chores have fallen to me. We've always traded nights for cooking, but we're not currently. Laundry, dishes, getting our son breakfast in the morning and bathing him and putting him to bed at night, all has fallen to me. And it sucks.
Let's get this straight right off the bat-this is not going to be a “I never realized how much my wife does for me” post. I know how much she does, and I know how much I do. It's not a self-pity post about how bad I have it right now either.
No, today I'm more reflecting on how nice it is to have a relationship where both people do equal shares of the work. A lot of the women I work with are impressed that I usually cook every other night. I do my part with the cleaning too, though rarely to my wife's standards! We have very, very different definitions of “clean.” I am also the resident yard worker, vehicle mechanic, and general maintenance man. Standard “guy stuff.”
In return, my wife runs our household accounting department, usually takes care of the laundry, dishes, and I would have to admit the majority of the cleaning. I suppose you would call it standard girl stuff, but I don't really like thinking of it that way. And jobs get traded back and forth frequently. Taking care of our son is share and share alike.
As I said, our current situation is making me realize how much I like being in a good relationship where the work is split evenly. If you've read my Pregnancy Guilt Episode II post, you know I've been feeling a little resentment and irritation at the fact that everything's landing on me right now. Normally this resentment doesn't build up because the discrepancies in how much we each handle aren't there. So yes, it sucks having to do everything right now. However, it's also making me remember that I'm lucky to have it so good most of the time.
Let's get this straight right off the bat-this is not going to be a “I never realized how much my wife does for me” post. I know how much she does, and I know how much I do. It's not a self-pity post about how bad I have it right now either.
No, today I'm more reflecting on how nice it is to have a relationship where both people do equal shares of the work. A lot of the women I work with are impressed that I usually cook every other night. I do my part with the cleaning too, though rarely to my wife's standards! We have very, very different definitions of “clean.” I am also the resident yard worker, vehicle mechanic, and general maintenance man. Standard “guy stuff.”
In return, my wife runs our household accounting department, usually takes care of the laundry, dishes, and I would have to admit the majority of the cleaning. I suppose you would call it standard girl stuff, but I don't really like thinking of it that way. And jobs get traded back and forth frequently. Taking care of our son is share and share alike.
As I said, our current situation is making me realize how much I like being in a good relationship where the work is split evenly. If you've read my Pregnancy Guilt Episode II post, you know I've been feeling a little resentment and irritation at the fact that everything's landing on me right now. Normally this resentment doesn't build up because the discrepancies in how much we each handle aren't there. So yes, it sucks having to do everything right now. However, it's also making me remember that I'm lucky to have it so good most of the time.
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