Toddler on a Plane
June 25th 2008 02:05
A few years ago on a Qantas flight, a young couple sat across the aisle from me. Their out of control, misbehaving child was giving them hell, and I was selfishly muttering under my breath that “I wish they’d shut him the hell up”.
Now older, wiser and having had the exact same experience, I’d like to officially apologise to the poor buggers.
Last month our little man turned a one hour flight into an embarrassing spectacle of tantrums, escape attempts and hysterical screaming which ended only when he fell asleep, just as the plane landed.
90% of our fellow passengers were definitely wishing we’d “shut him the hell up”, the other 10% must have been parents themselves as they smiled sympathetically while exiting past us, commenting that “he’s gorgeous when he’s asleep”. Karma got me a beauty there!
Tomorrow we’re getting back on the horse. Ike and I are flying to Sydney and I’ve been swearing I’d rather poke my eyes out than have a repeat performance by the demon of the skies.
I am however getting prepared. As we’re travelling on our own and he is now practically stronger than me, wrestling and fighting won’t be an option. So I’m planning to use strategic distraction and bribery.
I’ve consulted many friends, books and websites and have created a survival kit containing the following “Toddler on a Plane” essentials:
• Assortment of sweet and salty snacks
• Toy cars, toy animals, toy plane
• Special pillow, blankie and Cookie Monster Doll
• Notepad, pencils, roll of stickers, rubber bands
• Digital camera loaded with pics of family members
• Four lift-the-flap books
• Portable DVD player with Toy Story, Cars, The Wiggles and The Fairies DVDs
• Three dummies
• Bottle of milk and sipper cup of water
• Panadol Rapid capsules (they’re for me)
I estimate that if each of these tactic works for approximately 8 minutes we might JUST get to Sydney without being lynched by the businessmen sharing our flight.
We may end up covered in cheese spread, biscuit crumbs and stickers but if we can avoid the tantrums it will be worth it. Now I just have to figure out how I’ll carry this giant survival kit, my handbag, plus a 15kg wriggling two year old.
I’m confident I’ll conquer the horror that is a Toddler on a Plane? Sort of…
Now older, wiser and having had the exact same experience, I’d like to officially apologise to the poor buggers.
Last month our little man turned a one hour flight into an embarrassing spectacle of tantrums, escape attempts and hysterical screaming which ended only when he fell asleep, just as the plane landed.
90% of our fellow passengers were definitely wishing we’d “shut him the hell up”, the other 10% must have been parents themselves as they smiled sympathetically while exiting past us, commenting that “he’s gorgeous when he’s asleep”. Karma got me a beauty there!
Tomorrow we’re getting back on the horse. Ike and I are flying to Sydney and I’ve been swearing I’d rather poke my eyes out than have a repeat performance by the demon of the skies.
I am however getting prepared. As we’re travelling on our own and he is now practically stronger than me, wrestling and fighting won’t be an option. So I’m planning to use strategic distraction and bribery.
I’ve consulted many friends, books and websites and have created a survival kit containing the following “Toddler on a Plane” essentials:
• Assortment of sweet and salty snacks
• Toy cars, toy animals, toy plane
• Special pillow, blankie and Cookie Monster Doll
• Notepad, pencils, roll of stickers, rubber bands
• Digital camera loaded with pics of family members
• Four lift-the-flap books
• Portable DVD player with Toy Story, Cars, The Wiggles and The Fairies DVDs
• Three dummies
• Panadol Rapid capsules (they’re for me)
I estimate that if each of these tactic works for approximately 8 minutes we might JUST get to Sydney without being lynched by the businessmen sharing our flight.
We may end up covered in cheese spread, biscuit crumbs and stickers but if we can avoid the tantrums it will be worth it. Now I just have to figure out how I’ll carry this giant survival kit, my handbag, plus a 15kg wriggling two year old.
I’m confident I’ll conquer the horror that is a Toddler on a Plane? Sort of…
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